In the aftershock of devastating news people cope in so many different ways.
For me, the easy way out would be to hide my grief inside; to avoid the "poor you" looks and the possible "I'm so sorry" confrontations. It's always been hard for me to confront emotion and talk about it. I prefer to distract myself and then cry when no one is looking. Doesn't sound like THE most healthy coping mechanism, right?
I can easily say that this is the most difficult thing that I have ever been through. Yet at the same time, I can see God's hand working so clearly. He has been preparing me for this time in my life.
I have a husband who loves to "make me" talk, even when I'm reluctant.
I have a very unplanned little boy with the sweetest disposition who can make me smile no matter what.
I have friends in my life with gentle spirits and discerning hearts.
I have a family with such strong, unwavering faith.
I have a trust in God that is stronger than ever before.
I fully believe that this time in my life has a purpose. Finley has a purpose.
I know that people are waiting for good news from me. They are waiting for a good update. Consider this: God is GOOD! He is at work and I am getting though this one day at a time. I am surviving. I am not hiding away. I am confronting the pain. I have hope.
This past weekend I took a trip out to Atlanta with Eli to meet up with two of my close friends and their one year olds. I am so thankful that God put such amazing women in my life to share in my journey. The weekend was filled with fun, laughter, tears, LOTS of talking and very LITTLE sleep! It was exactly what I needed.
I don't think they fully know how much I appreciated the "normalness" of the weekend. They didn't give me the "poor you" look and they didn't tip toe around me.
If it were up to me we wouldn't have talked about Finley at all and they knew that; but they also knew that I NEEDED to talk. They didn't force anything. Each time we ended up talking about her it was without me even realizing it til it was too late.
To my friends, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and love.
To my family, your presence and your prayers and your understanding of ME are helping more than you know.
To everyone else who may come across this, this is a GOOD update.
As cliché as this might sound, the metaphor rings true to this moment.
There is a storm coming, but for now I am just trying to dance in the rain.
Please continue to pray.
Here are some pictures from the weekend: